Sorry if you’ve come here many times over the past few months looking for new content – I got married, it was awesome – and blogging about it just hasn’t seemed important to me. Blogging in itself is important of course, but as a writer, I want my personal projects to reflect what moves me, what inspires me, and what makes me think. Without further ado, please check out my new humor weight loss blog, the Double Chin Diary. It is currently housed at alyssacurran.com .

Thanks for reading

We left my parent’s house for a quick 10 minute drive to the Garden Valley Ranch. We truly had the most beautiful day for our wedding: There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining. As I sat in the front seat in my heavy, heavy wedding gown, I remember thinking how uncomfortable I was, and it was certainly the most uncomfortable drive of my life. Being crammed in a front seat with layers and layers of itchy lace and tulle will do that to you, I guess. Finally, we arrived, and I hid out in the car for a few minutes while my mom went to get the photographer.

The photographer’s lovely assistant, KC, came first. At this point my mom was an anxious mess, and I found myself again being surprised at how calm I was. I remember at one point stopping, grabbing my mom’s shoulders, and telling her to breathe. We were an hour and a half behind schedule, but I had resolved several days before the wedding to just accept things that happened and move on. In the past year, I’ve learned a lot about how to handle challenging situations in life. One of my little mantras that I’ve adopted in stressful times is – IT IS WHAT IT IS. So we were late. Who cared? I was still getting married. We took bridesmaid shots with my gorgeous girls. All of my bridesmaids were so stunning – what a deal – not only are these girls truly the very best in personality and intelligence, but they’re all stunners, too. I mean, look at them!

We all marveled over our gorgeous bouquets – lovingly made by hand by my crazy-talented Cousin, Kelly. These flowers may very well have been my favorite wedding gift, because they are a true labor of love, and a hand-made gift. She gave her art to us on that day, and they made our wedding day and photos so much brighter. Thank you, Kelly! People keep talking about these awesome bouquets!

When we were done taking lady pictures, it was time for Matt and I to have our first glance. We decided to do first glance to help shake off some nerves, and spend some time together alone before the ceremony. I’m really glad we did it. It was only a few minutes, but it was so nice to be with him for before we “made it official”. The ladies walked me up to where Matt was waiting…

And then, even though they wanted watch… we had to say goodbye!

I walked up to Matt, feeling more emotion than usual for the first time. I had an interesting realization at that point: I’m so used to being WITH him, as a part of him, that it felt weird to be walking up to him as he was all turned around facing away from me in secrecy. The kid part of me wanted to run up to him like a big slobbering puppy, and say, look at me, look at me! But, I maintained my bridal aura, and played the part of an elegant, poised young woman. UNTIL… I was about two feet away, and couldn’t resist meowing like our cat Leo. That’s how Matt knew I was approaching – because I meowed. Haha! I tapped him on the back…

He turned around… and I started to tear up.

I had been so shocked at my calmness the rest of the day, but the only time I cried was when Matt saw me for the first time. He had the biggest smile on his face, and he looked so excited to see me. He said, “You are beautiful.” He made me spin around so he could see all of me, and his face had that crinkly, wrinkly crazy-huge beaming smile. I asked how he was doing, we talked about my mom freaking out, I showed him my memory bracelet, and we talked about how surreal it was that the day was finally here.

One last hug, and it was time to go get married!

I woke up Saturday morning surprisingly calm. I shaved my legs extra carefully, exfoliated my face, and wore a silly cherry-print shower cap (apparently unwashed hair holds curls better, who’da thunk?). Before I knew it, it was time to get my makeup done, and I was being driven to the salon by my mom. There, I was greeted by the lovely Jenny Bello, who glammed me up for my day. We had had a trial, and she knew I wanted natural but still more accentuated than every day. The end result was exquisite, if I do say so myself! She even made up my Mom for free! At this point, I was having a few waves of “omg i’m getting married!”, but surprisingly, I was a very zen bride (no sedation or alcohol required!). The only times I got a little stressed where when my eyes kept drifting to the clock (we started behind schedule – brides, take note: your day of schedule WILL NOT go exactly on plan. It’s okay. It will all work out anyways!)

After my face was all dolled up, it was time to head to the hair salon. This process took awhile as I have a mane of thick, curly hair. She first had to curl it individually, and then pin the pieces on my head. I remembered eating a cookie, and thinking it was the last cookie I would eat as a miss. Of course my deepest, innermost wedding day thoughts are centered around food! Here’s the finishing touches on the hair! It was a swirly curly nest of hair.. and I liked it very much!

So what’s next? I wrote a check.

Then, we drove back to my parent’s house. I remember giggling in the car when a high school kid looked over with a surprised look at a stop light – and then he gave me a thumbs up sign! We arrived at the house, I scarfed down a little turkey sandwich (didn’t want to faint during the ceremony!) and I headed upstairs. Here’s where the true chaos started – four women getting their make up done, bags and makeup and shoes and dresses all over the room. We stood around for a few minutes while my mom stressed out about how late it was, and then we got me into my dress.

It took an army: My dress, while stunning – is no simple piece of architecture. It was a 15-pound bundle of lace and tulle, adorned with beautiful pearls and sparkling gems. The corset back was my favorite part because it gave me the body I always wanted… a hippy, feminine, beautiful hour-glass body! My funniest memory of this point was looking at a little digital camera pic one of my bridesmaid took, and screaming, “I look skinny!”. It was exciting to see all of my hard work and avoidance of carbs playing out on my big day. We had a few emotional moments when my mom gave me a bracelet inscribed with my late grandparent’s names, and then I headed downstairs!

My dad said hello….

And then I was ready to leave the house to go to the Garden Valley Ranch – this was the last time I left the house as Miss Alyssa Lofgren! The person leaving the house was no longer just a girl… I was a woman, feeling confident, proud and strong – setting out on the path to happily ever after.

The day was perfect because I walked down the aisle with my cherished dad, the dad who slipped me 20′s to go to the movies, the dad who slipped me 100′s when I was living off ramen in college, the dad who always reads my writing, the dad who always unloads the dishwasher, the dad who supports a beautiful, obnoxious family of 5. 

 The dad who spent thousands of dollars on his daughter’s wedding, who gave a beautiful toast and a full box of home-brewed “my daughter’s dowry” beer to his new son. The dad who gave me my sharp wit, my love of sarcasm, my love of music and writing, my joy for entertainment, my smart sense about money…. I love you so very much, daddy.

After I walked down that aisle with my dad, I walked up to three beautiful women on my left.

From left: Gita, Alyssa, Katelyn and April

 One of those women was my maid of honor, April: a sister who taught me everything plus a little more about what I needed to know about life. A sister who I annoyed mercilessly but still let me borrow her shoes. A sister with a fire and a zest for life, a penchant for adventure, a flair for the dramatic, a heart of pure gold. A sister who crafted paper cutouts for my bachelorette party, who hand squeezed lemonade for my bridal shower, who spent hours and tons of money on beautiful stickers and papers to make me a custom wedding scrap-book. A sister that really, truly, honestly is everything you could ask for.

 Another one of those women was my best friend Katelyn - a woman who made me a parody driver’s permit at 15 when I failed my permit test for the second time. A woman who sang loudly and off key with me on countless drives to school. A woman who could make even the pope burst into laughter, a woman who could write a poem so perfect it makes the world cry. A woman who teaches, who selflessly educates, who shares her love of learning with the world. A woman who can charm the pants off women and men alike – a woman I’m lucky to call  my best friend.

The third woman was my childhood best friend, Gita - a girl so unique and so beautiful, she’s going to rule America one day. This girl’s laugh is like bells ringing on a clear day, and her bubbliness is contagious. She brings smiles to the faces of everyone she meets. Her short stature is no comment on her big, tall power: a strong command of persuasive language, a fierce intelligence, a quick and biting wit. This girl flew all the way from Washington DC to stand up next to me on my big day.

And the men! The best man, Matt, another guy I have known since junior high. An artist, a friend so talented that we cross our fingers that our birthday gifts (and wedding gift) are art. A person who sees the world through multiple lenses, who has such a kindness and a genuine compassion for life that he spends his days working with young adults with autism. A man that’s so  fair in his view points that we all really do feel kinda guilty when we make an off-color remark, a man with such a competitive streak and high chance of winning that we all cower at his requests to play games. This man is truly, a best man, for the type of friend he’s been for several years.

Matt, Nick and Gita

The other groomsmen, Nick – a newer friend, but a friend that immediately clicked with Matt. This friend shares the same passion for reading, the same passion for film, the same habit of procrastination, but the same sincerity, loyalty and sense of humor as my darling husband. This friend got Matt through countless all-nighters at UCLA, and was like a brother to Matt throughout his college education. Nick has been a constant source of happiness for us as LA-residents – he’s the friend that makes you smile no matter what. We were honored to have him by our side.

Tommy behind me, putting on my necklace

Lastly, our other groomsmen Tommy – my darling little brother, my sweet, intelligent 21-year-old brother who will always be 12 years old in my mind. Mom, you were right, he finally grew up. I see before me a man with a raging love for learning, an unrivaled sense of creativity, a well of talent bubbling up into ten million future successes. I see an affectionate, sweet man who knows how to treat a lady – who takes care of his girlfriend in a way that would make your mama proud. I see a smart, darling, well-spoken young man who charms crowds both young and old with his kindness, his cuteness, his sweetness. It was so special for me to have both my siblings stand up for me in my wedding.

Last but not least – to my husband. My sun, my moon, my stars, my everything. The person who inspires me every day to be a better person. The person who makes me chicken soup when I’m sick, who always opens the garage door because it’s heavy and I don’t like to undo the combo lock, the person who spoils me rotten with sparkling diamonds and glittering gifts that would make a queen jealous. He’s the man who holds the door open for the elderly, who thanks service staff profusely, who pumps his wife’s gas in the evening, because he just DOES. He’s the perfect mixture of kindness and toughness – a person who knocks my socks off in jeopardy and always out-quotes me with historical trivia. His intelligence stuns me and his talent is awesome. You make me so very happy, hubby. To a long, special life together – I’ll love you forever.

Strangely… I still feel kinda calm! No insomnia yet! (That’s how I can tell I’m really bugged out about something, when I can’t sleep). Lately, my head’s been hitting the pillow and I don’t wake up until the darn alarm clock is screaming in my ear the next morning.

Tonight we picked up Matt’s tux. He looked so dapper! Here’s a sneak peek of part of the ensemble:

It’s starting to hit me now. Today at work, a friend of mine called me and said, “Thanks, MISS”, emphasis on the Miss. I’m gonna be a Mrs! Woah! That’s nuts! I’m mainly just excited to be back home with my family, preparing for all this happiness and craziness together. We just reviewed the script of our ceremony from Dennis, and it’s beautiful. It’s exactly what we wanted… We can’t even begin to say how honored we are, and how grateful we are, to have been taught by such an amazing teacher, and to continue to learn from him – on the day that he officiates our marriage. That is SO cool – in fact, it’s probably my favorite  “wedding trivia,” and the piece that I brag about quite often!

Work has been thankfully relaxed the past two days, and tomorrow’s my last day before “the big day”. Thursday morning we pack up the car (with many gifts in stow) and head to beautiful Northern california. All I can say folks – is that life is good.

Well, Matt and I ditched our ballroom dancing class (bad lyssa! bad matt!) so here I am writing you a blog instead. (He’s busy and worked late, I’m just lazy). Today I wanted to write about a sticky subject – religion!

My mom surprised me on Saturday when she called me and asked me if we could say a blessing before we eat our meal. One of my more religious relatives will be in attendance and she thought it would be a good idea to respect his religion with a wedding-wide prayer before we eat. My answer, without a thought, was a resounding no. Before all of the practicing worshipers get their pitchforks, hear me out. I was not raised in a religious family. I was raised in a family that went to Church on Easter Sunday, and my brother and sister and I wiggled and squirmed through the whole service. My mother is a self-proclaimed Atheist, my dad is agnostic, and I’m an agnostic with beliefs that don’t really fit into a nice little category. I have high respect for all beliefs within a religion, but personally, I have formed my own belief system over the years, and consider myself a spiritual person in ways that differ from text book christianity/catholocism/judaism/buddhaism. I have no problem AT ALL with anybody practicing their faith, and sometimes I envy those that have such an unwavering belief in Jesus. In fact, I love talking about religion – my best friend is a devout Christian, and we’ve spent many hours discussing religion. It fascinates me, but it also makes me a little bit squirmy. I just can’t choose to believe that if you don’t accept Jesus as your savior, you’ll go to Hell regardless of being a good person. My God isn’t down with that!

For Matt and I, our relationship has never been based on spirituality – in our seven years of love, it has been based on friendship, honesty, loyalty and commitment. That is our religion. We are very lucky to have very similar beliefs, as we grew up in the same sort of religious environment (or lack thereof) throughout our childhoods.

I understand my mother’s urge to please all of our guests, but I will not compromise my beliefs and make other people uncomfortable in order to please a select few.  In my mind, it’s better to refuse to do something then to “fake it”. Faking it is fine for some things – speeches, posed portraits or dances – but I don’t feel comfortable faking my beliefs about God. We welcome everybody’s blessings and prayers, and there are certainly some elements of religion in our ceremony, but I will not compromise our comfort for the sake of pleasing others. This is our day, and I feel that the day should not be based on religion, but that it should be based on family, on love, on loyalty, on commitment. I’m pretty sure God would understand

Have you ever dealt with a sticky subject, particularly religion and the family? How did you deal with it?

My dad produced quite the guilt trip this morning, so here I am writing you a blog! Wow, can you believe we’re one week away?! ONE WEEK!!! LESS THAN ONE WEEK! Ahh! All of this week I’ve been getting asked “Are you nervous?”. The plain and simple truth is, no, I’m not nervous – I’m stressed but not nervous. However, the stress is really not awful and it comes and goes. I’d say I get a gold star for being a pretty mellow bride. I haven’t busted out my Bridezilla outfit yet, but we still have 7 days to go. So what have I been doing, you ask?

Well, things like this…

Hot gluing fake flowers onto bird cages…

and also things like this…

Pinning random pieces of male anatomy to painted “Matthew” at my bachelorette party…

My sister poured her heart and soul into my bachelorette party, and it was awesome! She and my friends treated me to a mani/pedi, and then we hung out in a beautifully and appropriately themed hotel room, had some drinks, and then went to an awesome mexican restaurant in Santa Monica. The booze was flowing and it was just a low-key, buzzed evening with some of my favorite female friends. A big hats off to my sister.. it’s going to be hard to top that one when she gets married! She even hand painted tons of little “things”, hand painted the “matthew” above, and hung beautiful streamers and stuff. She kicked ass, with the help of my best buddy Katelyn. Go girls!

SO how do I feel about my upcoming change of marital status? I’m excited! I’ve waited a year (exactly a year tomorrow!) to see all of my ideas come to play.. to sob as my dad walks me down a ridiculously long aisle, to laugh when I see Matt bust a move on the dance floor, to smile as I taste our amazing wedding cake, to be over-the-moon when I look out at our ceremony and see 150, loving, beautiful faces. Lately, I have been feeling so GRATEFUL.. so LUCKY… so BLESSED. I have so much to be thankful for… A beautiful home, an amazing family, and impossibly perfect man that’s about to become my husband. A great job, an education… I am so glad that I see all of the wonder that exists in my life, because I know that every day I’m living a life I want to live. That is a great feeling!  *end cheeze-fest here*

So what’s the plan for this week? Well, we’re working until Wednesday night, and then Thursday morning, we’ll pick up Matt’s tux and drive to Petaluma! We should be there by 4 pm, and then I’ll practice dancing with Dad, get a mani/pedi on Friday, and then it’s rehearsal time and then… it all happens so fast! Then, I’ll be married! WOOOHOOO! and then the honeymoon! DOUBLE WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!

I will try my best to write one more post from the road on Thursday – I’ll need something to do while I’m in the car, and wordpress mobile is great for on-the-go blogging. What have YOU been up to?!

Stress is running high, and it’s completely and totally normal. Nobody’s guzzling Xanax just yet, but give it a few days and we’ll see where we’re at. Nothing really “bad” has happened, it’s just all of the last minute planning, preparations and logistics that make you go slightly crazy. How is it possible that all of this planning, all of these details, all of this minutae could really only add up to ONE DAY? ONE DAY?! Biggest party of my life, I’ll tell ya that )

What else is new? Matt and I have been taking dance lessons! We spend one hour on Monday nights with a cranky, east-coast senior citizen and about 5 other couples, practicing the “rock step” and “fox trot”. Who knows how much it will actually help, but if we can even *slightly* resemble Barry and Michelle, I’ll be happy! We are dancing to Etta James “At Last” (not the Beyonce version shown below) and our main objective is to not step on each other’s toes or be the laughing stock of our wedding.

This weekend is my bachelorette party!! I have no idea what’s planned, but I know it will be fun, and I’m looking forward to spending time with my favorite gals. I’m bummed that a lot of my pals can’t make it, but I guess as long they’re coming to the wedding, that’s what counts. Hmmm. what else? I’m miffed because one Monday night I had written a  long blog post on my iPhone and right when I hit “post” the iPhone froze and I lost the whole draft. So boo to that! Well – I can’t think of anything else to say so this is it. Hopefully I’ll update again before the wedding.. actually, I probably definitely will on the drive up on Thursday August 5. Would be a good time for a retrospective! Ciao!

So- will it be a tame evening with board games and wine? Or will it be a scandalous evening, with scarcely-clad men and Patron? I would be fine with both, as long as I’m with my favorite ladies! Did you have a bachelor or bachelorette party? What was it like?

Can you believe it, bloggy-blog followers? 25 days till I get another shiny lil’ ring and I’m a married woman! What a gal!! Successful job, handsome husband, charming cats, master’s degree en-route and petite 2 br/1 ba house in the burbs. Kinda sounds like the American dream, right? My American dream, anyways So what’s kickin, you ask? I have been SO busy. I’m three weeks into my new job and I loooooove it. I never thought I’d get paid to write creative stuff all day, and then play on Facebook and Twitter. Didn’t think I’d be throwing out random ideas for games for toddlers either. So. much. fun. It’s pretty cool to be getting paid for something I love to do anyways! (But, that’s also why you guys haven’t been getting fresh blogs. Sorry!! I’m writing all day at work, and when I get home I want to lay on the couch ala’ homer simpson and avoid any connection to the media world. (except for twitter.. love my twitter.)

As for the wedding, we’re at the part where I think some of  us have finally had the “oh shit!” realization. Stress is becoming a little more intense, and if the three cystic zits that have camped out on my chin are any indicator, it’s getting to me, too! 

However, I have that internal zen feeling, the one that reminds me that it’s just a day, and there’s so many more in my life! What matters to me is that my wedding day will be about me and matt, and we’re pledging to each other our on-going commitment to remain friends and start a family. When we’re up there holding hands, reciting the things millions of other couples have said before us, all I’ll care about is that it’s me and him, like it always has been, like it always will be. We started a ballroom dancing class a few weeks ago, and last night, as we spun around in uncoordinated circles and struggled to stay on beat, we were alive. Our skin was glowing pink, flushed with exercise and excitement, and we were wide-eyed in a room full of people. Our eyes were locked as we tried so hard to succeed at this scary, intimidating project – learning to dance – but it didn’t matter if we mastered the steps. What mattered is that as we looked at each other, we felt like the only people in the room – having fun, learning something new, trusting each other, allowing each other to make mistakes, encouraging each other, egging each other on, stepping on each other’s toes – connected in so many small, important ways. And that’s how our wedding - and marriage will be.

I am writing this line so that I commit to writing a blog post tomorrow about my very awesome upcoming bachelorette. My sister and friend Katelyn deserve mad props for their planning skills…. so check back Thursday morning for a post!